It's been a long time since I've written here. Writing now isn't a New Year's resolution, but it is a goal and a challenge to myself. I aim to write here at least once a week, and it will be a mixed bag, I'm not limiting myself so be prepared for silly, serious, light, sad, short, long, made up and opinionated. But what it will be is me at all times.
Depression took my voice for a long time, whispering in my ear "no one cares, no one wants to know what you think" and the sad thing is I listened, forgetting that I cared what I thought. I started this blog years ago for the sheer love of writing and if these stories are nothing more than love letters to my own fancies then I don't mind.
I'm not alone in being thankful 2016 is gone, now Janus has his sights set ahead. It's not just the celebrity deaths and political insanity, 2016 delivered body blows that have left me breathless and bruised. I'm lucky though that I wasn't facing those blows alone; I had love and support around me, boosting me when staying down had never looked so appealing.
Around October I started saying “ I just want this $hitty year over,” something I heard repeated by others. When the worst blow came though, just before Christmas, I stopped saying that. A new year wasn’t going to bring back the people so many have lost, all it means is that we learn to live without them.
But I have to say 2017 is charming me. On New Year’s Day I took myself off to a movie and settling in to dunk my panettone into my latte I looked over the surprisingly crowded cinema. Two teenage boys next to me were discussing favourite cinemas and mentioned my old stomping ground the Classic in Elsternwick. They held my interest which is why I kept glancing over at them through the movie. I saw one put his head on the other’s shoulder, and later the other boy repeated the gesture. It was so simple and so sweet and I felt glad I was in a world where these boys could go on dates together and openly show affection. Yes there are challenges in the world but I’m so glad those boys are here.
Thank you 2017, you’ve given me hope again.
