There are bookshops' worth of overblown romantic fiction all
dedicated to the tenet that we ladies love a bad boy.
And yes, there is a lot of truth to that particular cliché,
but tonight I’d like to dedicate this post to the best fictional
boyfriends/husbands I’ve come across in many years of pop culture worship.
These are the ones that any sane woman would choose over the brooding and
furrowed browed romantic hero, who’s so busy pondering how tortured his love is
that he wouldn’t notice you struggling with bags of groceries or make you a cup
of tea when you’ve had a hard day at work.
So for a little while let’s forget those complicated, drama
magnets and celebrate the nice guys. Yes nice. It’s not a bad thing to be. And
it’s not a bad thing to be with someone who is nice, you might even be surprised at how passionate they can be.
So here goes.
- Rory Williams, Dr Who (Arthur Darvill)
Also known as The Last Centurion, Rory is the byword for
steadfast, loyal and loving. And my god he is HOT in the uniform of any armed
services, be they from ancient empires or alternate universes.
A nurse by profession, he realised there were things about
the universe well beyond his ken, and set about reading science theories
to make up the deficit. To date he’s been the ONLY one to ever enter the TARDIS
and not say “But it’s bigger on the inside than the outside.”
Best moment: It’s hard to narrow down. I do love the scene
in The Wedding of River Song when the Doctor takes a moment as time collapses
around him to make sure Rory and Amy find each other in this alternate world.
As Rory stands before him in his sleek, black army garb, the Doctor stammers, “She said you were a Mr Hottie…ness and that she’d like to go out for...texting and scones.” “You’ve really never done before this have you?”
But in all honestly his best moments are any time he’s in
his Roman Centurion garb. Like the moment he breaks into the Cybermen’s ship,
sonic screwdriver in hand, red Roman cloak billowing out behind him and demands
in a voice so menacing for someone so gentle, “I have a message from the Doctor,
and a question from me. WHERE IS MY WIFE?”
Swoon.
Where he can take me on our date: Having spent 2000 years
guarding Amy in the Pandorica, he’s got a pretty good grasp on history. A day
at the British Museum with the Last Centurion as my own personal tour guide
would be a dream come true!
- Oz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Seth Green)
Now your basic Buffy
fan falls into one of two categories. Those who think Angel is Buffy’s first
and true love, and those that think Spike’s path to redemption makes him worthy
of her (personally I just want Spike to be as naked as possible, as often as
possible. Oh wait we're not supposed to be talking about bad boys).
But there’s one thing most of us agree on, that every teenage
girl deserves Oz as a first love. Sure Willow went on to change teams, but
regardless of that, it was Oz who showed her how amazing she was and helped her
emerge from her shell.
Who can forget the first time he sees her? Playing on
stage in Dingoes Ate My Baby for a Sunnydale High multicultural fancy dress party, he
spies a forlorn little Eskimo, sadly huddling in her fur hood. “Who IS that
girl?” he wonders aloud, his heart already pierced by her culturally accurate
harpoon. She continues to cross his path, never knowing she’s won an admirer,
until he literally takes a bullet for her. This leads to one of the cutest
Buffy scenes in its seven-year run, as Oz offers Willow her choice of animal
cracker:
Oz: Oh, look, monkey. And he has a little
hat, and little pants.
Willow:
Yeah, I-I see.
Oz: The
monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that?
[Willow smiles]
Oz: You
have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So I'm wonderin', do the other cookie
animals feel sorta ripped? Like is the hippo goin', "Hey man, where are my
pants? I have my hippo dignity." And, you know, the monkey's just, "I
mock you with my monkey pants!" And then there's a big coup in the zoo.
Willow: The
monkey is French?
Best moment: As with Rory, there are so many, but the best
has to be in Graduation Day Part 1. As Willow starts to panic in earnest at the
pending apocalypse and demands Oz stop being so sensible, he suddenly gathers her in his arms, kissing
her deeply. “What are you doing?” she asks breathlessly. “Panicking,” he
whispers, and effectively sweeps away her fears.
Swoon!
Where he can take me on our date: Despite playing in a band
and being effortlessly cool (he even manages to rock short sleeved, button down
shirts, no mean feat), Oz is also very au fait with geek culture, seriously
debating the types of kryptonite with Xander. Obviously Oz being a werewolf means there’ll be no romantic full moon picnics, but I’d be more than happy for a
date that starts at the local comic shop and moves on to a cosy underground bar
playing live music.
- Wash, Firefly & Serenity (Alan Tudyk)
Hoban ‘Wash’ Washburne. Like Rory, another steadfast and
loyal husband, with eyes only for his wife. Of course it helps that his wife is the drop
dead gorgeous second in command of Serenity, and would shoot you sooner than
look at you if you crossed her. But I get the impression that who ever Wash was
in love with, would be the only woman in the room for him.
Rarely lost for a wisecrack and always attired from an extensive
array of Hawaiian shirts, Wash’s sweetly goofy demeanour belies the skill with
which he pilots the ship. He always gets his crew out of trouble, even when it
cost him his life. That moment in the film as he is impaled by a Reever’s ship
was truly shocking. I remember shouting out in the cinema “No!!!!”, and cursing
Joss Whedon for finding yet another way to rip my heart from my chest.
Thankfully I have an entire season of Firefly episodes to
watch Wash adore and worship his wife, always appreciative that this glorious
creature chose him.
Best moment: He had my interest from his first scene, where he’s
playing with plastic dinosaurs in the helm of Serenity, waiting for Mal and Zoë
to load illegal booty into the hull.
Wash: Yes... Yes...
This is a fertile land and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land and
we will call it... This Land.
[sirens start blaring as Wash stares to a radar
console]
Wash: Oh,
motherless, son of a b...
Okay that scene doesn't make me swoon, but it sure makes me laugh!
Where he can take me on our date: Personally I have an
insatiable curiosity to see the world he mentions in Our Mrs Reynolds, the
one where people juggle geese for fun. Of course there’s also the way he and
Zoe choose to spend their time during one of the crew’s infrequent rest stops.
Snuggled naked in rumpled sheets, the pair are oblivious to the chaos going on
in the rest of the ship. And that speaks volumes for Wash’s other skills!
So thanks boys, together you give me hope that out
there is someone nice, funny, loyal and loving waiting for me too!
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